Yesterday I returned to work and casually asked how things were this summer. My boss looked at me puzzled and said has no one talked to you? I said not really why? I was expecting some disaster to have happened with the kids on my caseload while I was gone and was in no way prepared for what he said next. In short, apparently the governor "finished" the budget which included a huge cut to social services and much of that included substance abuse treatment services (which is where I work). Last Thursday it was believed that Friday, August 1 would be our last day and potentially our agency would close. Fortunately this was avoided and the agency is staying open and my job is safe for now.
Over the summer I thought about simple faith a lot. Most days we would visit peoples homes and they would talk about how God provided for them through rent money, food, school fees, healing sicknesses etc. It made me think about how I see God's as my provider. In the past few years I have really seen God provide for Tim and I, but do I really see him as my ultimate provider. Is my faith shallow at times? Of course I acknowledge how God provides for me, but do I ultimately believe that all things come from Him alone... If you believe in God in Kenya, when it rains you know God provided, when you get money for rent or for food you know without a doubt it comes from God, when your child is well you know God has healed them, when you are safe through another day you know God has protected you. Do I see that daily? When it rains do I complain because it gets in the way of things I want to do? When my paycheck comes do I see that God provided through a job? When I eat do I recognize God providing my daily bread? Honestly, sometimes I am not sure that I do. I guess by almost losing my job it made me rethink about this. At anytime I may not be able to pay the rent but I know I have family who would help us financially or credit at the bank to help me out or a lot of things I could sell to get extra funds but do I trust in that over God's provision? I ache to be someone who always sees God in everything. At times we see those who live in places like Mathare Valley and we talk about how horrible it would be to live like that and how much better it is in America and in some ways that is true. However, in America we have the ability to overlook God and to think we do things for ourselves. Not sure who really has it better sometimes.
My prayer as I return to my home and readjust to life is not to miss God in the day to day. To see Him in the ways I saw Him this summer. To have my faith simplified.